So tomorrow is a big day that i never thought would be happening. I thought I’d run and hide like so many time before. Fonehouse (the company that I work for) would be like so many other companies on my CV that I’d never returned too due to my anxiety.
The questions. Oh the questions. It’s normal for people to ask question when you’ve been away for a few months. “where have you been? we thought you had left! Is everything ok?” All vailed ways to ask someone you haven’t seen, I’ve been told most of my work colleges have been kept in the dark, so I understand why they may be surprised.
I touched base with one of the good guys on my team. I’ve asked Sunny to meet me out the front on his fag break, hopefully this will ease the nerves before I enter. Let’s remember I’ve absent due to my anxiety, and thinking about this to much will make it blow through the roof. Even talking about it now is make my stomach do back flips and I’m starting to question whether I actually need to go at all!? Well I don’t need to go, but I want to show to myself that I’m turning a corner and I believe everything I’m saying to myself daily.
5 things to quit right now
- Trying to please everyone
- Putting yourself down
- Living in the past
- Fearing Change
Remember every morning with progression and a positive attitude you will succeed
I’ll also share my daily pledge.
Today I will stand tall with my head held high knowing I will give to the world as much as I can, I push myself to lead the way with passion and energy, I am prepared to learn and as I change so will the world.
Fear has two meanings
Forget Everything And Run OR Face Everything And Rise
This is 1 part of what I currently reading daily. I’ve stuck my daily pledge on the fridge and other positive words and directions too. I have no doubt that reading this is helping me mentally and me saying this over and over to myself will make me 100 times happier. All my doubts can be seen in those 5 areas. I can’t move forward without taking this 1st step. I do believe in what I read and say to myself and that’s why I will succeed because I’m happy to feel uncomfortable…he says through gritted teeth.
I wanted to share this as I feel I need reminding of the fear, of the doubt that is still swirling around, but with a different outlook is making me push myself in another way. I can, and I will go through this tomorrow, and It will be another step to me getting back on track.
Here’s a quote I wrote for myself when I started.
Belief is waiting for you every minute of the day, just give it a chance and it will appear. – Barry Daniels 24/01/2017