The Star Jump Story

Below is a short story I wrote as I was seeing a negative view to running and sharing what you had achieved on Facebook. I believe exercising can save lives and showing people how you’ve done is good also. It’s for children and I plan to read to them tonight and we will draw pictures tomorrow.

Daddy, why is he doing star jumps in the field? He looks funny, and that’s what we do at school in P.E. He giggles.

His daddy walks into his sons room. Looks for the Spider-Man quote that is printed upon his bedroom wall among the his Avenger pictures of the Hulk, Capitan America and Thor. He reads “with great power comes great responsibility” and continues. “What do you believe this mean?” he asks. His son reply’s “errrr, well, he has powers and he has to take care of them”

“That’s right”Daddy reply’s. “You also have the power to control how you feel and keep your health for as long as possible. You have the power to change your mindset whenever you feel a bit blue. Exercise is such a powerful tool that some many people have and it is only right you uses your powers for good. Inspire, motivate and build a happier projection of the world. You have to work on these powers to become stronger but with doing this you will slowly but surely push yourself harder and harder and then your rewards will grow great!”

“Ok Daddy, can you get out now please, I want to keep playing my computer now!”His dad laughers and says “keep looking out your window at the same time every day and see what happens with the man doing star jumps”

Days pass and weeks pass.

“Daddy” his son shouts. “Yes mate” his dad replies “ look what I can do” his son jumps down from his bed, he does 20 star jumps and then 10 press ups and 10 sit ups! “ wow that is amazing son, you looked like you enjoyed that” his son with a smirky smile says “ I kept watching out the window and the man would always have another friend join him shortly after his star jump finished, then they would push there watches and start running together. They always seemed so happy to see each other and I wanted to have some of them feelings also” His daddy turns to him and says “if you like you can come and join us tomorrow if you like” The sons jaw drops! “ with great power comes great responsibility son!”

Moving on from your Ex

It’s never easy trying to see pass a relationship that has broken down. There’s no moving forward and generally there will one person that wants to call it off more than another. Smash, that’s your heartbreaking. If your like me, you’ll know picking up shards of glass will be very painful and ultimately pointless as you aren’t getting them piece back together again. If some how you do, imagine how fragile it would be, how piece would be missing, looking different and feeling just different! You’d for ever be over protecting it, never knowing when it would smash again. So sometimes you have to move forward and embrace the pain. It’s sucks because you now rely on life, fate and Tim to help pull you through. With that in mind ive decided to hold back my message I wanted to share with my now ex.

Instead, here is some of my raw emotions and sadness, but know it’s out there among strangers.


Im just want to get my feelings off my chest I’m not looking for sympathy I’m just hoping it will help me get on.
When you messaged me Saturday, it was by far the most hardest emotional feelings I felt for so long. I cried a lot and was sick to my stomach, even though I felt you was moving on I hadn’t heard it from you. And knowing I put myself out there to you a week before after a really nice time with the kids, I really was hoping you could regain some feelings for me. Now knowing you’ve chosen to look for happiness with someone after all we have been through, having 3 children and years of memories has been heartbreaking and knocked me for six. I’m not saying all the memories have been great, but they were ours and now they won’t be anymore.
Youve known all you’ve ever had to say that you’d want me back and I’d be yours and maybe that’s partly why you have lost respect for me. Anyway, I have written this against mine and probably anyone else better judgment but I think I should do this.
Like I said originally, I want you to be happy and won’t make anything difficult, I’d obviously like to know prior to any other meeting the kids might have with your new person and as much as you might say your taking things slowly I get things can change quickly.

Back to school, back to work.

I get it. I understand the tension these kids are feeling. The people they reliant on most have not been able to give them straight answers and if they have the confidence and conviction in delivery wouldn’t have followed like it use too. The uncertainty, the lack of clarity this will all come to an end soon and life can return to normal is got to way on their little minds.

We have to convince and calmly usher our beautiful children back to school and call it normality. We must also realise that the kids can’t just switch from being in their own homes and playing by all different kind of rules. Then return to work, I mean school and work a solid 6 hours. Be here is the real life lesson. The show must go on!!

Today I’m starting a new job. It’s been nearly 9 months with out an established routine. I’ve had to deal with a fair bit between this time but today is a fresh start with a new business. New beginnings. So like the kids I have the natural experience of nervousness, what do I expect. How do I carry myself, am I Barry 2.0 or Barry who is 35! Obviously I’m Barry who is 35. He comes with life experience and is able help anyone that is in need and has a direction with purpose.

Why am I writing this? Because I can and I wanted to say as we get older the more important we are on our younger people. Be brave and treat people how you wish to be treated.

That is all

5th Jan 2021

5th of January 2021

As I mentioned in the post yesterday, we had an announcement by the Prime Minister Boris Johnston asking people to stay at home with the aim to make its illegal to go out with out a good reason. Do I think that’s right? No, and there are a million reason I will mention but not in this post.

The country is still in a position where no one really knows where to turn or what to do next and this is causing uncertainty to millions of lives.

I’ve started this self personal recapping programme, learning to plan and control my own day even though there’s so much hardship and negative out there in the news. I will say this, having this little bit of purpose makes such a big difference, I’m still feeling a lot more happier even with all the destructive stuff going on. And considering it was only last year I wasn’t really feeling like being around anymore this is a welcome turn around. 

So today I will give you my list.  Something I’ve been writing into my pad daily to keep me on a straight and narrow.

  1. Arrange doctors note and send it over to work
  2. Post pending WordPress diary’s and attempt to upload a video. Start my online presence
  3. Put some money aside from my sick pay if possible.
  4. 75 Press ups and sit up

And that is your lot. Nothing crazy, that’s my list for today. I didn’t say it was gonna be exciting but it is continuous and it is purpose, something that we all need. So get yourself a little To Do List for a day and see how you get on.

It would be great to see and hear how you do.

In it together

4 January 2021

So we’re currently 4 days into a new year. This isn’t ground braking stuff, we have had 2021 years recorded to date. However we are in a big brother world now.

It’s 18.45 on a Monday, the start of a new working week, and at 20.00 tonight we will have another announcement from the government. It’s looking like another lockdown similar to what we had  last March. So a bit harsher than current tier standings. Its due to an increase in cases over Xmas and the new variations of the virus.

I’m starting to think these dairy’s will be less about me and more about us. The world. How we can all adapt to this new way of living and finding ways to belong while we all live separately. Sure, we have lots of social media black holes to fall down and lose hours, however we are losing. We are humans and we need the real touch from each other. The interaction of people and the feeling of laughter from a friend or hearing a stranger bursting into one of them annoying laughs. Cuddles because they do make us feel better. Kids needed to see there parents knowing where life is going wrong and trying to fix it. They need to be assured and told it will be ok. Some parents will be crying feeling lost with the thought home schooling again.

As I said earlier, we need to feel and support each other. I’m sure we will get to a point where we can look back at this a have a si of relief, much like our grandparents and all those who experienced war. For now we will need to find away of development personally and professionally. I just don’t want to lose to many people on the invisible fight.

On a personal note, the non drinking is going swell. I went for a 4K run today and started writing out a little plan for tomorrow. I hope with this I can turn around my personally disastrous year into a positive fight to see the good in why we live and love life. We will see where this rocky road leads, for us all.

For now, chin up and let’s see what we can do

Bazaar

Let’s go again, but this time record it all.

2nd Jan 2021.

In 2017 I under took a challenge to rectify my mental health, avoid medication by using positive affirmation , exercise, meditation, planning and stopping drinking.

I recorded my journey as this was my mission and reasoning to help me progress. I had been struggling with many issues like anxiety, drink, depression and lying to myself. I had to change something to get back to work. I had a daughter newly born in November of 2016. Id been off since she was born. My way of life started to get more unpredictable and controllable.

Now in 2021 I find myself in a similar situation. Unfortunately this time I have no home, I do no longer live with my beautiful children and I am on medication. Oh and there’s a small matter of a global pandemic. Suddenly my issues are less significant, but they are my troubles so they do matter to me and a few others. Anyway, Covid 19 is crushing the worlds freedoms and ability to plan ahead. Politicians are in the spotlight more than ever, so inevitably there lies have become more of a day to day experience, much like the sun going down and the moon rising up. This of course means the trust of the people is at an all time low. Some people believe it isn’t real and it’s a means for control, others flabbergasted by the stupidity of that kind of statement. To say life has changed for everyone would be an understatement. With more time at home than ever before, we crave the internet like our body does oxygen. It’s autopilot to just touch the phone to know there isn’t even a notification there. What control does my phone have over me. We could even say AI is already out there running the show. I feel like this years dairying may not be so different to a lot of people.

My reason is ultimately that I want to get better.

So let’s see what happens.

Bazaar

Bored of being bored on the internet.

1 hours just went missing. I cant find it and I couldn’t tell you where it went. I’m pretty sure I was online and surfing the web. It sounds cooler if i’m surfing on a board, catching some data waves wearing some shorts I designed and ordered online. Cowa bunga dude!! The facts are i’m off work as unwell. I feel sick and ive used Youtube to kill some hours. It got me thinking, what am I doing?

We’re all so use to turning to our phone 100’s of times a day. If you like me,  check your phone just for the fun of it to find there’s nothing on there. Your probably think why isn’t there anything on my PA (personal assistant). Have people stopped caring? Am I being active enough online, on WhatsApp, do I have a good connection. Its crazy how these little pocket size devises rain over us. The first thing you do in the morning is?  the last thing you do at night is? It’s the one thing in your life that knows your secrets, who you talk to and what you say. If your phone could talk what would it say about you?

The title is what is because it broke me from surfing the net. What I wrote about is something I feel I should look into more and discuss further. This world has always been a place where us humans want to push boundaries to what we think would improve life. yet as humans we do make mistakes. Are we becoming less human or a new type of human?! I’m not sure and being 33 years old i’ve seen both sides. i’m off now, so i’ll leave whoever reads this to ponder and i’d love to hear your take and what you think of anything i’ve mentioned.

Detachment

The best way to change is to detach.

Remove yourself from the reason your reading this. Miss spelt, heart honest, but detached.

What i think is you will stay in the same routine because ur use to it. How old are you? How long have you felt the same way? Detach.

Its taken a life time for me and feeling different is happening because im trying. Trying harder, taking risks from the norm. Anyway, gòodluck. Detachment

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